I’m home, I’m safe, I’m ok. Everybody asks me “how are you?” – Most of the time I say “I’m ok”. Yes, I’m ok. I was not hurt, I was not arrested, I was not beaten up. I just inhaled some tear gas but not as much as other people did.
So why am I feeling so down? I miss Cairo, I miss my friends, I miss my habits, I miss my life. But there’s something more.
I guess that until I was in Egypt I was keeping my nerves… but now I am realizing what I went through and I’m breaking down a bit.
I went outside yesterday, and as soon as I reached the street I had the instinct of checking if there was danger. I sat in a cafe to drink a coffee and a guy came in with a box, and dropped it on the floor. The sound made me jump. And so on.
Every loud sound I hear is a gunshot or a tank approaching. Every voice a little louder than usual is a riot coming.Last night I dreamt of looters stealing my money and throwing rocks at me. The image of the Qasr el Nil Bridge with the police shooting tear gas on people is like engraved in my eyes, as the sound of the shootings is still in my ears.
Here is a super-low-quality video I took… (if you can’t see please just reload the page)
I went to the oculist because I had a pain in my eyes and he said the tear gas burnt some cells, but I will be fine in a week or so.
I am writing this because maybe it will help me relieve myself. I’d like to hear from other people who had a similar experience, and see if I’m just too sensitive or it’s normal, and I’ll be fine soon.
I am now in this calm, muffled world, maybe I am just still carrying some chaos within me.
Ok, ok, I’ll write about something else next time : ) Thank you for listening and for the amazing support you are giving me these days. Lots of love.
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15 Comments
Glad you are safe, Giulia. I didn’t realize you were caught up in it all. Any plans to return? Best wishes
Hey, thanks Nick. I definitely want to go back as soon as possible, I hope by the end of the month but I have to wait and see how things go… What about you?
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Andrew Couch, Giulia. Giulia said: New post: How does it feel like? Side effects of Egyptian Revolution on me. #jan25 #egypt http://fb.me/SnMyTJXa […]
Glad to hear you’re, at the very least, okay. Stay well!
I’m glad you’re safe. I think it’s normal to still have images running through your head, to be jumping at sounds, etc. It must have been quite traumatizing living through that for so many days. Do you think you’re going to be going back later?
Hey Sabina, yes I am thinking of going back and I actually just checked the flights. Surprisingly very expensive :/ But I want to go back asap, I miss it so much, it was just not the right way to leave…
Glad you’re safe. I’m sorry to hear that you’e still feeling jumping when you hear sounds and your eyes was in pain. There are so many thing that goes on in the world that we wish we can help. I hope things get better there. And you’re eyes heel soon
I would be surprised if anybody that was in the midst of everything in Cairo in the past few days wouldn’t be jumpy… Don’t be too hard on yourself. I was once in an apartment in the middle of the night when the police came in and raided it (long story, but we rented apartment through agency and owner was apparently in some drug stuff). Anyways, years later I would wake up with a racing heart when there was a loud sound at night… Hope you find a flight back soon. And I hope things will calm down in Egypt soon.
I’ve never been thru anything close to this but I imagine what you’re feeling is normal. What you went thru was really traumatic & frightening I’m sure it will take some time to feel calm & safe again. These feelings might even come back when you go back to Cairo but you just need to keep reminding yourself that you’re safe. You’re a strong person & I’m confident you’ll get thru this & be even stronger for it.
am glad you are safe. was it scary being in Egypt during the demonstrations?
It was scary due to uncertainty and because I was (and still am) worried for all of my friends who took part in the protest. But things are apparently getting better, so this is great news!
That’s a different kind of fear you’ve experienced. I wonder if that will ever happen to me in one of my travels *knock on wood*. Glad to know that you’re alright.
First time here Giula, got here through Steve’s blog.
At this point only time will make you be a little more relaxed. I can imagine that something like this would be rather traumatizing.
Our thoughts our with you Giulia!
Thank you so much everyone <3
[…] the Revolution has changed so many things. I was shocked at first, I have to admit. But that was probably the only time in my life when I realized what being scared […]