Disclaimer: very girly content. Guys, if you don’t like it you can get out of here now – don’t say I didn’t tell you!
Now that I think about it, I changed so much in the last year or so.
By any means I don’t want to make aaany drama. But I just want to share my thoughts with you.
I find myself writing about sunbathing, bikinis and beach life. I would have never, ever written anything like this until, say, end of 2009.
Until then I never liked going to the beach. You will never see a picture of me in my bikini unless it’s from when I was a child. So, beach holidays are quite a new thing to me. I can’t believe I was missing all this! But in a way it’s great because now for me going to the beach feels so special. I never liked going to the beach because I was so stupid that I felt ashamed of showing my body to other people. So I used to spend my summers at home, and I was fine with it.
Yeah, I’ve never been in perfect shape and I’m not yet. But something changed, and now I just don’t give a damn anymore.
When I had my accident, just a few days more than a year ago, I used to hate my body. Then when I was laying on the snow waiting for the helicopter to take me to the hospital, I had a series of very scary thoughts: “what if I will never walk again? What if this, and what if that?” – the doctors spoke about spinal fracture, and I felt like my heart stopped beating for a second.
I spent 4 months wearing a hideous orthopaedic corset, but the good news was that I knew I could start walking again and having a normal life after that. And even if I went through different stages and moods – including rage and depression – I promised myself “no more paranoias about your body: it’s perfect as it is, just because it works“.
Do you know what it feels like when you have a broken vertebra? It feels like all your body is broken. Because of a small, little tiny piece of bone, you can’t do anything anymore.
The first thing I did when I removed the bust was going to the sea for a month.
And I didn’t care if I was in shape or not. Actually I wasn’t, can you imagine how tonic is your body after 4 months of inactivity? But who cares?
Is everyone else on the beach perfect? Don’t they have something better to do than looking at your belly? Is being fatty a real problem? I realised real problems are something very different. Not being able to walk is a problem.
I have a “Buddha belly”, (as me and lovely Juno call it) and I can walk, run, dance, swim, cry, laugh, eat, talk, see, hear, travel, have fun, be pissed and be happy, make love, live. So who cares.
To all the shy ladies out there with a Buddha belly: you’re perfect. Take out your bikinis, your shorts, your skirt or whatever it is. Be natural. Don’t hide. Why hiding after all?
If someone thinks you’re ugly because of your extra 5 kilos, he’s so shallow he doesn’t even deserve your attention. Leave him to Paris Hilton and go enjoy your life:)
How many Buddha belly ladies are out there? Join the club!