A few hours ago I met my father for the first time since I came to Italy. We met at 7 pm for an aperitif then went out for dinner with my grandma. I just wanted to see them before I leave again.
I was excited to see him and tell him about all my news: I’m going back to Egypt soon, I found a new job (sooo happy!), in a word… good news!
Before I left, in August 2010, I told him about my plans: going to Egypt, trying to work in the photography field, travel, change my life. And I was so happy when he said “You have the right to try, good luck”. That looked like an approval.
Tonight, as soon as I started telling him about my future plans, he started criticizing me without any mercy.
“I’m going back to Egypt until May” – “Why didn’t you just find a job here now?“
“I found a new job, I will be an assistant in a photography studio!” – “Oh so you don’t work in Hotels anymore? You just don’t feel like working“
…and so on.
“You are a lazy bum, you don’t do anything the whole time” Oh yes sure I forgot, I am on vacation all the time, I don’t work and I depend on you, right?
“You are just saying bullshit (repeated many times)” Maybe from your point of view!
“You should settle down, buck up your ideas and think of your future” I have no rush and I can’t even think of settling down! And when I think of my future I think of travel! And the idea of buying a house now is just a nightmare to me… I wouldn’t even know where to buy it, and I don’t have the money anyway.
I really got very close to tears. I wouldn’t mind this kind of criticism from anyone else. I would be more than happy to have a discussion, and try to explain my plans and stuff. But he didn’t give me any chance. The “bullshit” answer was shutting my mouth up every time. And I started to tell him “yes, I don’t do anything. In fact, I sleep the whole day and the money I have falls from the sky…”
He said “Your Egyptian friends are not friends” (…no comment)
He said “I am offering you a job (i.e. selling windows… ok, I would travel for work but this is just not what I want) but you’re just a lazy bum“.
He said “You should think about your family, because one day we will need you” (ok, and until that moment I can travel, right?).
But he really killed me when he said “I am sure one day you will be disappointed with your life“.
What if he’s right? I don’t think so. But he makes me feel so strange. He makes me feel guilty. It’s my life, wtf.
Why am I not a “normal” person? Why can’t I still think of settling down and buy a house? Is this so wrong?
I am soo frustrated.
Question: did you ever have to face anything like this? How did you manage? I need some of your awesome “fellow travelers support”… : )